Why painkiller I take, don't work...

I have been taking painkillers for a very long time. My 'long time' is more or less 10 years. At the beginning they were working very well. 
When the dose I was prescribed stopped working I'd up it a little bit. From 10mg of Codeine to 20, from 20 to 30 and so on. When Codeine stopped working my GP topped it up with some Amitryptiline, then Nortriptile, Gabapentin or Pregabalin. 

Unfortunately after a few years when I reached a maximum dose of everything, my body got so used to them that they, on a good day, just take the edge off. They never make the pain go away. 

I'm so used to taking painkillers that the dose needed to get rid of my pain would kill me. 

I learnt how to live with it. It goes where I go, it's with my whatever I do. But my pain is not my enemy any more. It's become part of me, part of my life. Acceptance, not that long ago actually, made it easier to exist.

I have a normal life, full time job, very happy home. I stay a happy and positive individual. :)

I changed what I didn't like and accepted what I couldn't change.


Lisa Minckler said...

If you're not a true inspiration, I don't know who is. I'm certain this post will help anyone who reads it. TFS...makes me realize that falling down the stairs yesterday really wasn't that bad! :) I love your positive attitude :)

Rhonda Halushka said...

Acceptance is the hard part -- what did you do to accept it?
Love the colors of your borders here! Looking forward to exploring your blog and seeing your crafty side!
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier for WOYWW!

Maggie's Crafts said...

Rhonda, I was lucky to meet Paul, physio at Ipswich Hospital. He was the first person, after almost 19 years, who sat down with me and talked with me about chronic pain. After almost an hour talking to him I burst in tears and finally realised that I will be in pain for the rest of my life. The next day it clicked and my attitude changed.
It sounds so easy but it was a battle I had to win!


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Thank you for your comment! Each and every one makes me smile! :) Maggie x

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